OneNewsNow

So there I am, minding my own business over at Joe.My.God. and reading today's NEA Considering Marriage Endorsement post (cool), when suddenly I see that it's Scooter and me in the photo. (Remember that gay lifestyle shoot we did back in 2007? See NO on 8.) The post links to OneNewsNow, a division of the American Family News Network (bad).

Sadly, we don't get to choose how or where our pretty gay faces are used.

HBO's New Mr. Big

Who is this Thomas Jane and why am I just hearing about Hung, HBO's newest series, only five days before its Sunday premiere?

From the HBO website:

Desperate times call for desperate measures and Ray Drecker's situation couldn't be much tougher. The former high school sports legend turned middle-aged high school basketball coach is divorced and struggling to provide for his kids when his already run-down house catches fire. Looking to take on a second job, Ray decides to exploit his best asset in a last-ditch attempt to change his fortunes.

Created by Dmitry Lipkin and Colette Burson, Hung uses dark humor to tell the story of a man fighting to survive personal setbacks that have been compounded by a troubled economy.

Scooter and I canceled HBO when Sex and the City went gone with the wind, but there's a new wind blowing, and it's...well...Hung.

We're Gonna Take a Little Break

Carrie "Dirty Pillows" Prejean

(Former) Miss California and Donald Trump get what they deserve. Thanks, Dan-O-Rama. (And I so need to watch Carrie again.)

Neti Pot: Not Unlike Waterboarding

According to Pollen.com, most of Minnesota is currently experiencing a moderate level of allergy conditions, which means that my life sucks for much of summer, and oftentimes into fall until Mother Nature's first frost. Having already suffered enough this allergy season--first with strep throat, then flu-like body aches and now severe head congestion--this time I'm forgoing the steroid nasal sprays and inhalers and trying the more homeopathic route of the Neti pot. Never heard of it? Neither had I, until Scooter sent me the following link by way of Doppelgänger.



I wish I could say my first Neti experience was reminiscent of fresh mountain breezes, or that the warm salt water exited my nasal passage like a fluid stream, but there was none of that. There was, however, some minor gagging, choking, spitting up and heaving. And although I've never been a victim of torture, I'm certain the Neti pot comes about as close to waterboarding as I will ever experience. Scooter captured last night's Neti on video, and you don't want to see it.

I tried it again this morning and, although there was less waterboarding, it's still by no means that "mother and daughter share an excited Massengill Douche moment together" experience.

I'm frightened, Auntie Em. I'm frightened.

Sexy Bread ca. 1980

Here's my secret to making good bread.

"The rain...gives me the blues."

Yet another day of rain, and it's making me go all Annie Wilkes.

Annie Wilkes: Here's your pills.
Paul Sheldon: Annie? Annie, what is it?
Annie Wilkes: The rain. Sometimes it gives me the blues. When you first came here, I only loved the writer part of Paul Sheldon. Now I know I love the rest of him, too. I know you don't love me, don't say you do. You're beautiful, brilliant, a famous man of the world and I'm...not a movie star type. You'll never know the fear of losing someone like you if you're someone like me.
Paul Sheldon: Why would you lose me?
Annie Wilkes: Book's almost finished, your legs are getting better. Soon you'll be wanting to leave.
Paul Sheldon: Why would I leave? I like it here.
Annie Wilkes: That's very kind of you, but I'll bet it's not all together true. [pulls out a gun] I have this gun. [pulls the trigger] Sometimes I think about using it. I'd better go now. I might put bullets in it.

Don't know why there's no sun up in the sky, stormy weather.

Thank You for the Music

This past Saturday evening was the Episcopal Church of St. Paul's biennial parish choir fundraiser. My parents attended, which was awfully sweet of them, and below is a photo of my mother and me photographed by Scooter, who managed to include it in the night's PowerPoint. Mother was overjoyed--and somewhat perplexed--to see a photo from that very evening. Sweetie scored big points for that.


At some point in the evening's festivities, my father decided to add some bling-bling by wearing the wineglass charms that Meema created and which ornamented 80-plus wineglasses.


Overheard from Mother:

First my son is gay, and now I have a gay husband.

They love their gay son, and I love them.

One of my silent auction contributions, "Bread So Good, I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus!" (Description: French croissants or baguettes, Norwegian Julekake, Italian focaccia, English muffins--Breadsmith Eric will bake 6 breads of your choice over the course of a year. It's the holiest bread ever!), and which I valued at $72, went for a whopping $150! "Norwegian Lefse Making with Eric the Red" also did well, as did "Log Cabin Weekend in Northern Minnesota." Thanks again to my parents for donating the family cabin for a weekend.

Jacob and John, newest friends and Doppelgängers, attended and sat at our table. (I continue to marvel at this sinical form of bilocation!) Fun to spend more time with them, and thanks to Jacob for capturing the bling-bling image of my father.

Scooter et al did a bang-up job with this year's gala--congrats to everyone involved on such a successful and fun event.

Screwed Without a Kiss

So I was totally dissed by Lass in Google Chat today, as in what I like to call a "Screwed Without a Kiss" kind of way. Twice I tried to chat her, and after minutes had gone by, I finally got the, "Sorry, busy with work don't have time" response. I felt betrayed and bewildered for much of the morning, and so when I did hear from her--in that "Gotta go!" Irish perkiness of hers--I decided to fight back Gilly style.

Lass: bye bitch, I'm headed out for the day, will talk to you tomorrow

eWAC: huh

Lass: love ya

eWAC: too bad you can't come to dinner tonight with other eric and burton

Lass: why can't I???

eWAC: oops

Lass: perhaps because I totally wasn't invited!
great, now I can go cry myself to sleep tonight

eWAC: LOL

Lass: bye

eWAC: :)
bye

Sorry.

Big Gay Ice Cream Truck

While Scooter's finishing up the morning rush over at Scooter Pie, A Bakery, having risen at 2 a.m. to perfect the day's goodness, I'll be getting my Big Gay Ice Cream Truck ready for the day's journey around the Minneapolis Chain of Lakes.

From Serious Eats: New York:

Rainbow sprinkles might mean something a little different on a soft serve cone from The Big Gay Ice Cream Truck. Doug Quint, a New York-based bassoonist who just finished coursework for his musical arts doctorate at CUNY, is rolling out his playful new mobile dessert business as soon as his permit shows up (hopefully next week).

Let's face it, ice cream trucks are kind of queer, and a middle-aged white man driving one is pretty suspect," Quint said. "That's not to say that I'm a rolling hotbed of perversion. Hardly the case. It's all in the name of silly." That means his Twitter updates (@biggayicecream--yes, he's another street vendor on Twitter) won't be limited to the truck's whereabouts, but also involve haikus and requests for good cha-cha music.

There are a few noticeable differences between him and Mister Softee. For starters, his concern for Proposition 8 in California, but also his topping selection. The BGICT will offer olive oil and sea salt, Nutella, bacon, and any suggestions from his clientele, who will earn freebies when they sport his apparel (the tank top is called the "husband beater").

Be on the lookout for the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck in the West Village during the day, near East Village and Chelsea bars and clubs at night, and maybe even some Brooklyn appearances. If you hear cha-cha music, the rainbow sprinkles shouldn't be far.

Best of all possible worlds, indeed.

Betty Bowers Explains Traditional Marriage to Everyone Else

Betty Bowers, America's best Christian, explains the biblical origins of marriage. NSFJF (Not Safe for Jeebuz Freaks).

Expialidocious

From YouTube member Fagottron. Love this!

Will Gay Marriage Also Cause Your Kid to Misspell?

You know I love me a good typo, like this one found in the final frame of NOM's most recent New York marriage ad.

Once the misspelling of marriage was pointed out, NOM "corrected" it with this version:

Will third time be the charm?

Tonight's Fashion Previews of Chef and Lass

Sundin Music Hall, Hamline University

A preview of tonight.